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The Truth Bombs That No One Tells You Of Being A Mother To A Newborn

The Truth Bombs That No One Tells You Of Being A Mother To  A Newborn

Hola readers, how are things at your end? Finally managed to come back to this space amidst the chaos of being a second-time mom. I am struggling to find a routine at this point in time as the newborn seems to have a direct connection of waking upright when I open my laptop. The little bundle of joy is 2 months old now and I know things will be back on track soon.

Today, I have decided to impart my wisdom/drop some truth bombs (let’s call it that because sharing my experience is too lame #influenzaa) because I still see everyone making motherhood or rather parenthood a bed of roses all the time especially with the glamour quotient attached on Instagram. When the reality hits the new moms out there and situations are not honkey-dory that is when the mental health takes a toll. Let’s be real and inform the new mother or people planning to be a new parent, the ground reality or the other side of the coin too 🙂

“Oh, how exhausting yet fulfiling motherhood/parenthood is.”

If I had a penny every time I have read or heard this phase then I would have been a millionaire by now. Yes, motherhood is indeed exhausting however the fulfilling part isn’t that recognizable under the pile of clothes of vomit and poop (too graphic? welcome to our world of “nothing is gross”). I wasn’t well prepared when I adorn the hat of a mother for the first time but being a second time mommy also doesn’t mean I am nailing motherhood like a pro. Although, I am in a way better control of the situation than before and also, well prepared with my previous experience yet postpartum blues have hit me hard.

Here are a few truth bombs I would like to tell soon-to-be moms out there and hopefully make them mentally more prepared for what to come next :

Friendships are hard to maintain

One of the biggest challenges I faced after becoming a parent was maintaining friendships. Parenthood can be a catalyst for change, both good and bad. I have always been a chatty one, the one with many friends. For the first time around, I couldn’t get a grip on how to hold onto those friendships. This time I knew, people who want to stay will be connected to you irrespective of your emotional unavailability. My advice? find your mom-tribe and stick to the people who lend an ear without judgment. Motherhood will be a real test of your friendships 🙂

Babies cry and there isn’t much you can do when they cry for no reason

The crying never stops, that’s what I said to one of my friends when we spoke over the phone post-delivery. The whole vicious cycle of a baby crying and then mother’s tears run on a repeat mode without a mistake from either end.

Be prepared, babies cry and one of those evenings you will feel like a failing parent. When it gets too much handle then ask for help or Keep baby in a safe place leave a room for a few mintues.  It is indeed a test of patience when your newborn cries for no reasona and gets dfficult to calm.

Sleep routine is a distant dream

Sleep when the baby sleeps, heard of this?  Well, doesnt work for me because I have a 6 year old human craving for my attention too. Truth is, a nap is a must however when and how that completely depends on you. Your power of delegating work will come handy here. For initial few months your sleep wont have any routine and it would feel like this never ending saga, hang in there mama. It will get better. My body is adjusted to run on 3 hours to 4 hours sleep a day and on a good day when my newborn decides to sleep through the night, I too catch up on my sleep.

Giggles and smiles yet the existential crisis gets real

Motherhood is rewarding and there is no second thought on that however, it takes a part of your soul away. Don’t get me wrong, I dont treat leaving my job as a sacrifice because I chose motherhood over it but the constant struggle to see others with simialr qualities thriving in career does leave us with a food for thought. Don’t overstimulate your self physically as well as mentally and keep taking time outs if possible.

For me, an hour long bath without someone knocking on the door is a good enough time to rejuvinate myself however it is indeed seldom:)

A good Support system will be your lifeline. This new phase of life, being a parent, provides a whole new perspective of how one sees life. From shifted priorities to different interests, the struggle to find the balance gets real. At times, our mind gets clouded with loneliness, sadness, or maybe just the feeling of emptiness from inside.

The responsibilities have doubled up since we decided to bring another life into this world. Meanwhile, my brain is looking for my own existence too…it could all be just a phase or my preggo hormones messing up my brain however, it is not easy to deal with, to say the least.

I am going through this phase at the moment. Acknowledging the fact that change is okay, it is okay to move on and find happiness in our zone is easier said than done.

Talking to like-minded people helps but up to an extent and then you are back to your own cocoon of finding answers. I think I will allow myself to be a bit uncomfortable mentally for a while to adjust to these changes and find new grounds to stand.

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kavita

Mom of a beautiful and most adorable baby girl. I am a dreamer and a true optimist with a drop of crazy at heart. I have always been fascinated with the perpetual link of a pen and a heart. It amazes me how beautifully pen can write what heart truly believes. I am a stubborn daughter, pampered wife, doting mother and free-spirited human being. Do not forget to visit www.momtastciworld.com and www.clumsythoughts.com


Reader Comments

  1. Of course. I learnt it the hard way. People are only worried about following useless traditions or showing off their new members in the family. The parents relationship and fatigue are totally ignored and not taken into consideration. Good post.

  2. Life changes forever and we finally have to grow up.That was my experience of becoming a mom.But it’s the best adventure of my life and I love being a mom.

  3. Motherhood changes so much around us, especially with a newborn. It may be pretty overwhelming and exhausting, initially, but with a good support system, it can be enjoyed and managed well. Hang on there, you are doing well!! Lots of love to you and the lil one! Cheers!

  4. The truth has been boldly revealed by you. Kudos for that. Yes mental preparation of new parents especially mother-to-be is really needed as their are bigger things to careabout post-maternity than the physical transformation.

  5. Being mother to a new-born is as tough as it can get. All you can do in this phase is to be patient with yourself and enjoy the process till it lasts. Unfortunately a lot of people offer unsolicited advice when you become a mother. You should learn to filter what is important versus what is not!

  6. I am sure that motherhood is hard and it is at that time mothers need most support. I have friends who have kids and they find it really hard to make time for friends and get togethers and I do understand why.

  7. Motherhood is not an easy path. With all the sleepless nights and continous cries, we sail through it all. I know my 2nd pregnancy was so difficult with one 3 yr old by my side needing my attention and my new born who would just not stop crying.

  8. This was me a year back.. I felt like I was reliving my memories. A tribe that just listens to what you have to say without judging is definitely something every new mother would want to sail smooth through this journey

  9. You put it all so well. Motherhood isn’t as glamourous as it is made out to be. We lose sleep, sanity, friends and normalcy while tending to that little human. It’s ok to acknowledge and accept it.

  10. These are some good advices for mom to be. And yes baby cry for no reason and we have accept and do some chores without guilt. I know I was so eased out for the second one.

  11. Absolutely agree with you here Kavita, the post reminded me of all the struggles, sleepless nights yet such a fulfilling feeling. its Nostalgic as my baby turns 5 this week and I was already in that phase missing beautiful memories we made.

  12. I agree there are so many hidden facts that come with motherhood which we feel in a later phase. Your post seriously made me nostalgic.

  13. Your post has take me back to long 9 years ago, when my little one born. at that time, my elder one was 3 year old only and I had a hard time to manage all things together. but with the time things got settled easily. yes, motherhood is beautiful but it brings its own set of challenges time to time.

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